I really need talk to you Lord
Since the last time we talked, the walk has been hard
Now I know you haven’t left me, but I feel like I’m alone
I’ma big girl now, but I’m still not grown
And I’m still goin through it
now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If i should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Four corners to my bed,
Four angels ‘round my head,
One to watch, one to pray,
And two to bear my soul away.
& look, tell me you ain’t did it, you ain’t did it
& if you did, then that’s family business - Story of my life
soo im soo good at holding everything in & not lettin people see thru me! but the phony smile nd the happy go lucky person is turning into a angry, irritated person! ugh holding my feeling in is jus makin me madd! but yet i hate letting ppl know whats really going on in my life nd inside this head of mine! so all i can do is hold it all in!
I use to want a normal family life were we all lived happily ever after! Shoot bump happily ever after just wanted it to be semi normal! Never was daddys little girl! but we were thicker than thieves *back in the day* *sighhh* (my step dad, not my biological one) ugh life use to be soo much better but now its constant surprise visit at 8 in the morning with 7 unmarked police cars at your door looking for him -_-! i dont think anyone realizes how stressful it is praying “Dear God pleaseee let my daddy be safe, i know he’s done wrong but i dont want him to die” Ughh i hate it! i hate the fact that some people complain about they dad! SHIT lets trade ill take the always bugging dad over the dad thats always in & out of jail nd on the runn for different murder charges! (ughh why do i let this shit get to me! ive been going thru this for 19 years! you’d think id be use to it but im not! i hate not knowing! its like when i see him my worries STOP but when he leaves im back to worrying all over again! butt i know now this time is different specially after the visit from the fbi ughhhh! i jus have a strange feeling that this time its gonna be different! this time the next time i see him will either be in jail or in the grave! ughhh i jus wish i could rewind time nd keep at when i use to know him ass “good daddy” when i was too young to realize what was going on! i just wanna go back to old time =C i hate thiss